The joy of the learning to fly

Tomorrow I am back in my trapeze class after a painfully long break for Christmas and New Year.  I am excited beyond words.  My body is twitching, literally.  I am itching to commence battle with gravity once again. 
My tools are many layered. 

Strong hands, arms and shoulders give me the courage to be high in the trapeze and ropes.  'Core' strength helps me haul my body and legs into the right place. 
Practice and conditioning moves help my body know what to do: muscle memory is a joy once it kicks in.
Determination keeps me going when I feel weak and like a failure.  I must believe in myself. 

Learning new moves is my top priority for the new year and I can't wait to crack the new puzzles that are ahead of me.  The combination of physics, body dynamics, mental discipline and visualization are a complicated mix to get right.  Sometimes a memory or idea can be all it takes to go from failure to success.  Sometimes it's something much more fundamental: being stronger, or being lighter.  Though at the back if my mind I know that there's only one thing in the way of some of my precious new moves: fear.  A very sensible fear of smacking my face with a heavy metal bar.  Or a fear of falling from a great height and being too shaken to go back up.  I'm frustrated by how long it takes to learn these scary moves in a controlled careful manner - but to go faster is too great a risk.

What keeps me going, in a wonderful modern world, is inspiration garnered from fellow aerialists.  Once limited to the trapeze studio or occasional visit to a show, the Internet and particularly YouTube opens up a feast of artists varying in style, technical ability and performance. Watching them helps me understand what kind of aerialist I want to be, what kind of tricks I long to master, what videos I want to create and upload.

Of course, all of this is nothing without my most valuable assets: my amazing and talented teachers.  Strong, elegant, highly skilled, totally inspirational.  Always pushing me further, telling me off, keeping it difficult and wanting me to always do more.  They are in my head.  "Point your feet". "Tummy in". "Shoulders back". "Arms". "LEGS!"

I will never reach perfection.  There will always be something to strive for.  Something new to set my sights on.  And for me, that pursuit is the joy of the aerial arts.