Getting on the mat

Over the last month, I've been dedicating myself to establishing a home yoga practice.  It has been a lot easier than expected and I guess that's a result of things I've learnt over the last few years:

• Just start.  This is a lesson from trapeze class.  Even if you don't feel like doing it and even if in your current state of mind you think you won't want to continue, just take the steps to start.  Whether that's walking into a class or rolling out a mat at home, most of the time you will be glad you did and will be transformed by your practice.
• No cheating, do it right!  Again, a lesson from trapeze I am now applying to yoga.  In an egotistic bid to be excellent at everything, it's easy to fudge correct form in order to look impressive.  Over the last year I've made a committment to learn correct technique so that I can improve in the long term.  In yoga this means I've rejected my prop snobbery and embraced anything that will help me achieve the correct technique, even if it looks or feels like a step back.
• Plan and be realistic.  I have a busy life filled with other people's lives and priorities.  I worried about how I'd be able to commit to a daily home practice.  However I found a perfect time for it in my day and most days it works really well.  On the days where I don't get on my mat, I allow myself to be imperfect.  I give myself a clean slate and try harder to not miss a day.
• Be present.  I commit myself to the present task and honour the time allocated to it.  I don't let the past (transport issues, late arrival, work/home stresses) encroach on this precious time and I stop myself from thinking about the future.
• Be you!   Over the years I've worked out how I operate best and what makes me happy.  A gorgeous notebook, a detailed plan with every eventuality explored, time spent thinking about what I'm trying to achieve and what success will look like when I'm finished, 'next actions' to focus me on achieveable steps.  I enjoy the process because I'm doing it my way.

Starting a new adventure

I am delighted to say that I have been accepted onto the appleyoga teacher training course 2012/13.  This time next year I may be a fully qualified yoga teacher!

The course starts next month but there is lots of preparation before it starts.  I now practice yoga every day and I have already started studying my Anatomy textbooks.  'Excited' doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. 

And best of all, I now have a beautiful new yoga notebook. 

All out of hoop

My second hoop course this year finished last night.  I feel like I'm getting somewhere now.   It will be a while before I'm as comfortable on it as the trapeze though.  I'm still working out the logistics of the space.

Here's my latest routine which was our end of course exercise - incorporating the stuff we worked on in March:

Hoop possibilities

I've just finished my first 6-week course in Hoop and we finished with a little presentation that was lots of fun.

Flying Fantastic 6 week hoop course - The results (1) from Flying Fantastic on Vimeo.

I'm the one on the right.

This was a beginners course in Hoop and while my trapeze background made the physical movements fairly easy, I enjoyed the slow pace which allowed me time to focus on doing things properly and cleanly. I'm always fighting my instincts to be slap-dash so I feel like I've been starting from scratch for the last 12 months: relearning how to do everything with control and elegance. It was great to learn from Clare Midgely and when I wasn't learning moves, I was watching how she taught the classes. I still have a lot to learn.

Next week I start a 4-week course in Hoop with the lovely Rose Donnelly at MAH. This is likely to be faster paced - teaching to MAH students experienced in a range of aerial skills. I'm excited about developing my hoop skills further and hopefully ending up with the basis of a routine I can work on.

This is leaving me feeling very conflicted. I feel like I'm betraying my static trapeze and turning my back on years of tricks and experience. This is stupid, and I know both can co-exist. Hoop for crowd-pleasing, easier-to-rig, more accessible work. Trapeze for pushing myself to put more difficult tricks into routines and choreograph to please myself.

Injury time

I've been taking hoop classes in addition to my trapeze classes this year and I love getting to know a new piece of apparatus.  Perhaps a bit too much.

Last week, before my trapeze class started, I got a hoop out and started to play around during my warmup time.  I had done a very quick warmup so that I'd have time.  This was big mistake number 1.  Mistake number 2 was deciding, after having had only 2-3 hoop classes, to play around and improvise.  I stupidly flung my head back and pulled something.  It was ok, as long as I only looked down or straight ahead.  I spent the rest of my trapeze class tentatively exploring my range of motion and planning my recovery (heatpacks, pain killers, no "bed rest").  I've hurt my neck before so knowing what to do was reassuring.

Did you know how much you use the muscles in your neck?  Every time you move around in bed, your neck muscles help your head turn or just get comfy.  I didn't really sleep well for the first couple of nights after my injury.  Eating in restaurants is difficult.  The staff probably thought I was being rude when I didn't turn my head to look at them.  Also, it's tricky to speak to a group of people when you can't easily turn to see them.

I don't know how people with chronic pain get by.  I knew that if I sensibly dealt with my injury, the effects would be short term.  The constant pain was still frustrating and annoying though.  I wanted to rest but sitting still is the opposite of what my neck needs.

Five days after the trapeze class, I had my next hoop class and I felt that I'd gained enough range of movement to be able to go.  They have a great led warmup at Flying Fantastic so I knew I'd be properly warmed up for the class. (I must remember to do that same warmup for trapeze class!)  I made sure that the class co-ordinator and class teacher knew about my injury.  For each move we did on the hoop, I evaluated whether I should do it or sit it out.  Everything was being clearly explained and demonstrated so I was confident with what I was safe to do.  I ended up with 2 new hoop moves and had great fun in the class.

Lessons learned:

1. Always do a proper warmup before touching the kit
2. Don't play or experiment until you really know what you're doing and can be safe.
3. I don't like having a sore neck.  I'm crossing 'neck hang' off my wishlist.

Big loser

About this time last year, I blogged about making a firm decision to be healthier.  I had started working out at home and I had weight loss goals set.  I'm pleased and proud to look back on those posts now.  I achieved my goals and I've gained so much more than just a smaller waist line.

How I did it

The biggest step was deciding that I was no longer happy being slightly over a healthy BMI.  I wanted to be awesome: a healthy active role model for my kids.  I had specific goals in my trapeze work and any excess weight would stop me progressing.

I started looking at my food choices.  My breakfast has always been a necessity for me but I must have been having about 100g of cereal instead of a 30g serving.  I had been eating pizza baguettes or cheesy paninis for lunch out of convenience.  Lots of restaurant meals in the evenings weren't going to help.  I started making adjustments and thinking more about my choices.

All of this would have helped a bit but I wouldn't have made the progress I did without My Fitness Pal - a free website that helps you log all your food and exercise and gives you information on how many calories you should have each day to achieve your goals.  I started logging my food out of a geeky curiosity.  I like numbers.  I was shocked to find out how many calories I was consuming each day.  After a few days of logging, I started to make changes.  Weighing my morning cereal to stop my greedy tendancies.  Seeking out delicious lunch alternatives with low calorie counts. 

Once I was logging my food steadily, I started noticing progress when I found my perfect lunch solution.  Innocent veg pots .  They were on offer in Tescos and the tastiest looking one was only 217 kcal!  A hot yummy meal, with enough calories left for bready/cakey/fruity treats.  Perfect!  They became my default lunch choice.

I got used to my daily calorie limit - to the point that I found it difficult to eat more food on days when I've got a class.  I've started to plan ahead now and have a bigger lunch on those days.  When I reached my goal weight, I increased my daily calorie limit to 'maintenance levels' and that was difficult to adjust to.

Then Christmas came along and I ate what I wanted - but I didn't want to binge on chocolates and eat massive portions of food.  I had reasonable amounts of what I like and moved on.  More chocolate that I'd normally have though, so in January I switched back to 'weight loss' calorie limits for a couple of weeks.  After having all those lovely snacks and treats, it was hard to go back to my healthy measured choices but it was the perfect way to deal with a week of indulgence.

Why it was worth it

I've dropped two dress sizes and I love my new shape.  This is the size I always thought I was in my head before I faced facts.

I can do pullups now.  I have 16kg less of me to lift up.  Pullups are cool.

I'm more confident on the trapeze.  Being able to lift your own body weight means being able to get yourself out of most trapeze predicaments you may find yourself in. I'm determined to learn things I've struggled with in the past and I have a whole load of new material I can work into future routines now.  I want to keep progressing and I've learned to believe in myself and not be scared to be rubbish at doing something because I'm learning or relearning how to do it properly.  A humiliating tiny correct movement is better than an impressive big wrong one.

I'm more confident off the trapeze. Women who are dancers tend to look amazing.  They look after themselves and their appearance.  I need to do this more. 

I'm happy and pleased that I was able to set goals and find a workable plan for reaching them.  "Healthy eating and exercise" can seem so vague when you try to implement it.  I'm really happy that I found something that worked for me and I stuck at it enough for it to deliver the results I wanted.  It's a fuzzy warm sense of achievement.


Weight loss recommendations

I'd recommend that anyone who is struggling with weight loss logs their food and exercise for a week.  For me, it was the eye-opener that made all the difference.  Even if you don't want to continue logging, it will give you a realistic view of how many calories you are consuming and you may find meals you can adjust, snacks you can change or cut out.

Don't go on a diet.  Become healthier.  This should be a lifestyle change, not a fad or phase.

Don't try to go too fast.  1-2 pounds of weight loss a week is good steady sustainable progress.


It's easier to lose weight if you exercise because you are "winning" more calories you can eat that day.  Try to find opportunities to be a bit more active.  I stopped using the lifts at work.

Be kind to yourself.  A day or week of cakes, chocolate or whatever your vice is will just be that: a day, a week.  Not ideal, but not the end to your weight loss plans.  Let yourself screw up from time to time, then get back to your healthy new you.

Christmas revisited

Finally got around to putting my Christmas performance online:

The 'pulling on jeans' move

A couple of weeks ago I had the interesting situation of being one of only two people in my trapeze class.  It's so rare to get so much individual attention so I didn't let the opportunity slip.  I was having trouble with something, I forget what, and asked for help.  What ensued was a 20 minute masterclass on exactly which abdominal muscles I should be using, how to locate them, how to practice activating them.  It was a revelation to me.  I'd been relying on muscles too high up and there's a limit to what you can do that way.
The turning point was when I was told to imagine sucking in to pull on jeans.  We've all been there and I love the image of that.  Suddenly it all makes sense.
Since that class, I've been using random moments like walking down the street to work those new muscles. I never want to forget them.
It seems to be paying off.  In last week's class, we were going through the usual conditioning and I realised that I should stop cheating 'hocks half turn' and see if my newly found muscles will help with it.  To put this into perspective, this is a move which has always seemed to involve levitation.  How is it possible for your body to hang in mid-air like that?  Amanda broke it down for us and helped us spot each other trying it. I activated my 'jeans' muscles and gave it a few goes.  I was getting close...
Then near the end of the class I decided to try it again and bam!, I got it! I kicked my legs with glee once I was through.
I don't really know what this all means yet.  It's such a fundamental aspect of aerial work - I feel like I have to relearn everything, this time doing it the technically correct way.  Hopefully it'll help me cross off a couple of the moves on my homework list too.

Unexpected progress

I've spent years remembering old trapeze classes, thinking about all the amazing moves my classmates learned while I floundered.  My new-found strength has given me the confidence to try and tackle all those moves and this week in class I was putting in work for some of the new moves on my list: 'off at the back', skinning the cat to one arm hang, plus little attempts at toe hang, heel hang and mill circles for a laugh.

My teacher saw me doing very little as I tried to get my confidence together to try 'off at the back'.  She broke it down for me, explained what my body should be doing and then blew me away with a demonstration that had such control and clarity of movement.  Suddenly I could see a way of doing it without smashing my face in or pulling my arms out of their sockets.  Love her!

Starting on a low bar, I gave it a try following her tips and advice.  It worked first time!  Of course this move requires a fairly high bar so I wasn't finished yet.  I moved to a medium height bar and tried again.  Success!  So  I moved to the bar that was the right height for this and did up and over, scary pause and mental preparation, then off at the back.  Wheeeeeee!

I felt like I needed to throw a party to celebrate.  I mean, it's no perfect and beautiful move right now, but technically I know I have the ability to do it.  Yay!  Think of it like setting a new personal best at something you've struggled to progress in for years.

Revised homework list: 

Category 1 - Bring it on (stuff I can probably do with teaching and practice)

• Hocks on the rope
• Knee balance to death roll
• Backward roll to ankles
• Skinning the cat to one arm hang
• Rotation out of double nappies
• Crucifix to up and over

Category 2 - I wish (stuff I've tried before and never been able to do)

• Toe hang
• Heel hang
• Mill circles
• Knee leanout to ankles

Category 3 - Yeah right  (stuff that looks really hard and probably out of my league)

• Neck hang 
• Crucifix beat to hocks
• Armpits spin (don't know the actual name)

"Crucifix to up and over", you've just been promoted!

Breaking it down

Last night's class was great fun as always. In order to make progress on our ambitions, we were encouraged to think about what to work on in order to be able to achieve that goal.
I've decided to look at them one at a time for the moment.  First up: skinning the cat to one arm hang.  I can sort of do this already, in a messy scary did-you-fall-off? looking move. No control. No confidence. So I need to tackle this from both ends of the move.
Skinning the cat is when you are in pike under the bar and you rotate yourself backwards so that your feet are pointing to the floor and your body follows. The move isn't too hard to get into but once there, you can get stuck.  You need really strong core muscles and strong arms to pull your body back to pike.  So training usually involves rotating to your limit and back, or having a partner help you lift yourself back some of the way.  I need to be doing both of these training techniques in order to improve.  If I can't pull myself out, even a little, I don't have enough control.
Then we have one arm hangs.  Exactly what you might expect: hanging from a bar using only one arm, well, hand.  The work for this will be practice practice practice to increase my endurance. On the trapeze and on my pull up bar at home.  Keeping correct body position, keeping shoulders down, for an ever increasing number of seconds on each attempt. In fact, my pull up bar might be my secret weapon for this move.  Like with the pull ups I conquered last year, regular (maybe even daily) practice can really show fast results.

In other news, the DVD for the Christmas show will be out soon.  So excited to see it - I loved working on it with everyone and I'm curious to see how it all looked.  I've never been in a proper aerial show before.

Homework

Last week's class ended with a suggestion to write down ambitions for the next few months.  On the train home, I started jotting down the list that had been swirling in my head.

Category 1 - Bring it on (stuff I can probably do with teaching and practice)

• 'Off at the back' - a progression from Up and overs
• Hocks on the rope
• Knee balance to death roll
• Backward roll to ankles
• Skinning the cat to one arm hang
• Rotation out of double nappies

Category 2 - I wish (stuff I've tried before and never been able to do)

• Toe hang
• Heel hang
• Mill circles
• Knee leanout to ankles
• Crucifix to up and over

Category 3 - Yeah right  (stuff that looks really hard and probably out of my league)

• Neck hang 
• Crucifix beat to hocks
• Armpits spin (don't know the actual name)

So I want to have learned Category 1 moves in the next six months.

I want to have given the Category 2 moves a good try for 4-6 weeks to see if I can get anywhere.

If I nail any of the Category 2 moves, I'm bumping a Category 3 move up for a try.

The joy of the learning to fly

Tomorrow I am back in my trapeze class after a painfully long break for Christmas and New Year.  I am excited beyond words.  My body is twitching, literally.  I am itching to commence battle with gravity once again. 
My tools are many layered. 

Strong hands, arms and shoulders give me the courage to be high in the trapeze and ropes.  'Core' strength helps me haul my body and legs into the right place. 
Practice and conditioning moves help my body know what to do: muscle memory is a joy once it kicks in.
Determination keeps me going when I feel weak and like a failure.  I must believe in myself. 

Learning new moves is my top priority for the new year and I can't wait to crack the new puzzles that are ahead of me.  The combination of physics, body dynamics, mental discipline and visualization are a complicated mix to get right.  Sometimes a memory or idea can be all it takes to go from failure to success.  Sometimes it's something much more fundamental: being stronger, or being lighter.  Though at the back if my mind I know that there's only one thing in the way of some of my precious new moves: fear.  A very sensible fear of smacking my face with a heavy metal bar.  Or a fear of falling from a great height and being too shaken to go back up.  I'm frustrated by how long it takes to learn these scary moves in a controlled careful manner - but to go faster is too great a risk.

What keeps me going, in a wonderful modern world, is inspiration garnered from fellow aerialists.  Once limited to the trapeze studio or occasional visit to a show, the Internet and particularly YouTube opens up a feast of artists varying in style, technical ability and performance. Watching them helps me understand what kind of aerialist I want to be, what kind of tricks I long to master, what videos I want to create and upload.

Of course, all of this is nothing without my most valuable assets: my amazing and talented teachers.  Strong, elegant, highly skilled, totally inspirational.  Always pushing me further, telling me off, keeping it difficult and wanting me to always do more.  They are in my head.  "Point your feet". "Tummy in". "Shoulders back". "Arms". "LEGS!"

I will never reach perfection.  There will always be something to strive for.  Something new to set my sights on.  And for me, that pursuit is the joy of the aerial arts.